This is the time of year I start to think about Christmas gifts for family and friends. When you require as much perfection in your life as I do, ’tis the season for mind-numbing brainstorming sessions with myself. Today, I was thinking about what to give to Mom and Dad.
My parents are particularly difficult to buy for, moreso my dad. He’s the kind of guy who really just needs new shirts and books, and often buys both for himself as the need arises. And considering the guy has an entire bookshelf devoted to books he intends to read soon, you can see where it’s hard to keep up with him.
But this isn’t a story about what to buy Mom and Dad for Christmas. It’s an anedote about Dad’s Christmas gift to Mom last year. Because I thought of it while I was thinking about gifts and it made me laugh to the point of logging into WordPress and writing it down. For posterity.
I’ve been wrapping Dad’s gifts to Mom since I could safely weild a pair of scissors, or as long as I can remember, whichever came first. Last year, as was customary, Dad told me where the gifts were hiding and I got to work.
The gifts, hidden in bags up in the closet, included a LARGE assortment of new clothes for my mother, who had just started a new job and was needing a more professional wardrobe, and another bag of smaller items. My jaw dropped to the floor when I saw it all because he’d really picked out some lovely sweaters and pants for her.
I called to my mother that Dad had really outdone himself this year, and proceeded to wrap it all up. Dad wasn’t home while I was wrapping Mom’s gifts, so I related the same thing to him when I saw him later.
“Dad, you really outdid yourself this year.”
He wasn’t nearly as impressed with his selections and awhile later got a chance to look at the pile of presents.
He said to me, “Why didn’t you just wrap it all up in one box?”
Of course, I told him that I didn’t have a big enough box for everything. “Well, what all did you wrap?”
And I told him I had wrapped up all the clothes and then that bag of other stuff.
“I didn’t buy her any clothes,” he said to me.
*Jaw drop* Then, “Damnit.”
Through hysterical laugher, I told Mom that I had just wrapped up a LARGE assortment of clothing that she had purchased for HERSELF, which also happened to be in bags up in the closet.
My dad has almost zero sense of fashion if it’s not plaid and button-able, so the joke’s actually on me, that I would think he’d purchased all of these lovely sweaters and pants in exactly the right size for Mom.
I do believe she waited and opened them all on Christmas, too.
So there you have it. I can’t wait to bring it up this Christmas while Mom’s opening her new oven mitt from Dad.